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What is this?
This is Betty: pasty-faced, peevish and particularly sensitive, now that Robert Smith of The Cure has taken the path of Elvis. Things aren't what they used to be, and in fact were never what they used to be, if you ask Betty about it. She never got over the break up of Bauhaus, and thus has been nearly intolerable since the age of fourteen.
In this strip, watch as Betty:
- Stands in the rain
- Sits on her sofa
- Talks on the phone
- Argues pointlessly with Lord Byron
- Struggles with her coiffure
- Frets, fumes and fusses
- Gives you a piece of her mind . . . and one of the least pleasant parts too
So what if her head is shaped like a shovel? So what if her legs don't appear to have any muscles? So what if she is almost completely two-dimensional? Do you think she cares?
Well . . . what do you think, Betty?
Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say.
Now that you know Betty, meet her so-called friends. Then you can talk about her behind her back.
Benjamin, the Goth Boy Next Door
Ben and Betty have known each other for years. They have so much in common and have spent so much time together that they deeply resent one another's presence. Ben knows what her real hair color is. Betty knows that he is straight after all. But neither of them knows for certain what Ben's horrible little pet really is; mysterious and ill tempered, it can only be identified as a hairy little quadruped with an insatiable appetite for expensive or highly valued objects.
Of course Ben and Betty used to go out with each other; how else would they build up this monumental animosity for each other?
Penny Dreadful
They both struggle with their hair. They dislike the same people.
They're best friends.
Rudbeckia
Rudbeckia is Betty's pagan friend. She eats lots of vegetables, believes in faeries, and always thinks "Grateful" when Betty says "Dead." Clearly, she just doesn't get it. Betty tolerates Rudbeckia principally because she knows a lot about poisonous plants and Lord Byron loves her. Rudbeckia tolerates Betty because she tolerates almost everyone and she demands very little from reality. Besides: being pagan means never having to say you're sorry about the things your weird goth friends do.
Angst and Conundrum
Betty is often called upon to act as an impromptu Mary Poppins for these small, distant, and somewhat surreal little relations of hers. Their sex, species and age are unknown, except that Conundrum still has training wheels. Angst speaks only in short, pungent phrases that indicate despair or disparagement, no matter what is said to him (?). Conundrum just chops apart her (?) head.
Death
He had one blind date with Betty; the rest is just vicious gossip.
Lord Byron
You were wondering how a Romantic poet got mixed in with a dubious crowd of cartoon characters, weren't you? Lord Byron is Betty's vastly underappreciated feline companion. Critic and confessor, Lord Byron guides and forgives Betty perpetually, even though she ignores his sage observations and advice. Like his namesake, he is handsome, moody, charming, and cursed with a small irregularity.
Don't mention the tail. He's sensitive.
Fairly Large Hairy Spider Doing a Merry Little Dance
He creeps into the frame every now and then.
Usually he's dropping straight for Betty's hair.
And just who is responsible for this?
Dex is the former Editor of the Magazine Rack, but she also found the time to scribble out this gloomy little comic strip. Living in Boston with her eight pound feline, she laced up the gypsy boots and moved to Virginia to begin graduate studies in literature. She can be found creeping around the Castle as "Lucretia Artemesia de la Belalugosi" . . .
because she is such a wiseacre. |
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